


Cageless in Principle

by SRN (a_b_b_e)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Bodyswap, Contortion, Flexibility, Gen, Mind Manipulation, Non-Consensual Body Modification, POV Second Person, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 11,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25430728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_b_b_e/pseuds/SRN
Summary: Welcome to Condy's home for people from wayward timelines.Completely altruistic.
Kudos: 2





	1. A Courtesy

"Your name is Vriska Serket."

There was little else to suggest to the contrary. Even if you found yourself rather numb at the moment.

"You will probably not remember this meeting - directly. As a light aspect user, there's always the chance you could come across the memory. Regardless, this is a courtesy."

You can breathe. You can listen. Otherwise it feels like you spent a sweep too long in sopor - but you can't remember any recent bouts with sopor in the last bit. You still hate going to sleep without it.

"You are currently being restrained - chemically and psychically. I would like to assure you we mean you no harm - quite the opposite. You were rescued from a special instance of doomed timeline to live a full life here."

You can blink. Open your eyes. The chair underneath you - what you can see around your still immobile bust - is plush, padded red. Another chair, off to the side, has a shaved lusus of some kind - ornately dressed in flashy pinks and purples. The pair of you are the only things illuminated in the room, as far as you can currently tell.

"These precautions were insisted upon your benefactor, to who you may bare ill will."

You check your tongue. it still feels heavy in your mouth, but you manage a "Where"?

"You were recovered from a Meteor dubbed Kilter," She wasn't reading off anything, "In a variant timeline that aimed it a fraction of a degree from it's proper target. Instead of the sweep it would have taken to reach it's destination, it would have taken thousands of sweeps before it met with proper realspace. All other members have also been evacuated - to different locations."

That was not what you wanted to know. But. Terezi....

"They are safe. But they did not meet your benefactor's criteria."

Criteria... was she paid off by some casteist blueblood? Was Gamzee somewhere around here?

"You are the only one from your timeline which did. However, you will find yourself living with variants of those you knew from other timelines."

The fog clears up a little more. Your neck is free - You try to look around further.

There is a large figure in the shadows intently returning your gaze. Seated, but still towering over you. She waves a hand and waves. "S)(ello."

You strain against your psyonic binds as you get a good whiff of terror. Anybody. Anybody but She who rules the stars.

"I suppose that concludes this session. Seriously, though, you'll be fine."

You know no more.


	2. Outer Monologues

That... didn't quite seem to be the case. Vriska very much remembered an earlier meeting. The meteor. And she was in neither of these places.

She tried to move her arms - and finally they responded. Could she sit up? Not for lack of trying, but the hook of her horn was stuck in -

"You're awake. Good. Don't get up yet. Just listen."

It was the same voice as whatever alien was in the padded chair.

"I don't know what she's doing yet. It's something with psionics - yes I know you don't call them psychic - which don't effect me, and it may not be evil, per se. Assume any drink you don't get for yourself is drugged, any glass dirty. She may actually be playing nice for once. If not- I can handle her. Please, just - Just look out for yourself and the rest of the refugees."

Something poked at her horn - she turned in time to see a flash of a pink square disappear. She'd seen that before, hadn't she?

And why would Vriska even want to care what this alien said over Her Imperious Condensation? If she had somehow survived the game session - she was the defender of troll kind! And if she survived - well, where even were they?

The room was dark - a green-blue hue. There was a window in the wall, a sheet fabric covering whatever was through it. It was outlined in white. The lines of the room were - odd. Parallel. Almost a perfect box. The bed - looked a little like what the humans on the Kilter used, but with rougher cloth covering it.

Her legs ached a bit, as she rose to them, like she'd been behind the keyboard too long. At least they were steady enough.

The was one door, wooden, polished, with a brass knob.


	3. Your Alternative

"Hello- Miss- Secret, is it?" It was a human - older, she'd guess, than the ones she'd met previously. In a bleached white dress & a black belt, but taller, more filled-out than-

"Rose?"

"Ah, I see. Yes, my name is Rose. I presume, then, that you met my contemporary in the time line you came from?"

That sounded right. Or at least, like Rose. "Uh... yeah. And it's 'Ser-ket.' Vriska Serket."

"Serket. Then, a pleasure to make you acquaintance. And a relief that we speak the same language."

"I'm.. not really sure that's it? Godtiering had this thing called 'gift of gab'-"

"Then you might be able to decide if that's the case with the other troll in our company. Ka-nae-ya."

"I might. Um. Where is this?"

"Sassacre House, near the town of Hauntswitch. Though the name you're looking for is 'Earth'. As far as I'm aware, the only Human planet."

"And if I were, to like- burn this place to the ground?"

"You'd run yourself and four other refugees out. I'll admit, it's not a huge number, but we hope to host more in the near future, and you are our first introduction in a good while. The, uh, two trolls among that number might have a hard time making a living outside this estate."

Was she supposed to know about the Condesce? Better to not even act as if that was a question, "Then are you a 'refugee' too? Or is this shack yours?"

"I'm currently in charge of the house - though my main responsibility is you - All of you. This is my timeline."

"Like, Guard."

"Like, attend to your needs. Most of the estate is free for you to wander around, and it's edges are clearly marked. I could accompany you on a walk around it now, if you wish. I have some sun umbrellas available at Ka-nae-ya's request."

"Or?"

"Or I could introduce the others, the staff on duty, get you some food, show you your room."

Vriska considered a moment, "I want to see this planet's sun."

"As long as you don't look directly at it. I've been informed that this was a worse problem on the troll planet, but looking most other places should be fine here. But, please follow me."

As this Rose turned, Vriska's eyes fell on an on an odd pattern on the back of this Rose's neck. It wasn't a blemish in the skin - it jumped around oddly, as if it were a pendant hanging from some other point.

"Would you care for a drink first?"

"Not... not yet."


	4. Grounds

Kanaya was the real deal.

Dressed like the breeze would give her cancer? Check. Digging up plants you couldn't eat just to bury them elsewhere? Check. Eyes headed straight for your rumblespheres at any pause in conversation? Well, also check, but Vriska had only really noticed the behavior after she had god-tiered, and no longer had to pad that area. Her Kanaya, at least, didn't need to be informed that a change had happened. And neither did this one, apparently.

The was... more slender than Vriska was used to.

The exchanged quick historical notes - a habit learned after doing the dreambubble shuffle. Her meteor hadn't had a Vriska. Obviously, then, it was doomed to failure. Hadn't even named the place. And things went further south when the Gamzee in the walls had gotten access to an experimental batch of Sopor Slime replacement - though she seemed keen on not getting into details here.

"So is everyone gonna 8e traumatized here?"

"I Have Noticed Some Behavior Unlike What I Experienced On The Meteor. Perhaps Something Due To The Genetic Stock."

"What, her?" Vriska side-eyed her minder.

"No - And Yes. There Is Another Rose Here. Along With Two Others Of the Same... Ectobiologial Line? Duplicates of Different Ages. Four Lalondes. I Must Wonder If Someday I Will Have To Deal With Seeing Myself In The Halls Regularly."

"Hey, um-" Vriska slid beside where Kanaya stood in her pathetic weed excavations, sliding an arm over he shoulder, "Not saying anything, but what do you think about the looks of that one, " She motioned to the elder Rose, "Like, her neck."

"Is This About The Rainbow Drinker Thing? It's Been A Few "Months" Of Only Human Blood. It May Be Only Lalonde Blood, But It Is All Sort Of Same-Ish."

"So you've left your... Mark. On all of them."

"I Am Both Sparing And Discrete."

It was a Kanaya answer. Vriska shrugged and withdrew her arm. She discretely looked at Kanaya's own neck as she did so. The same mark. And no particular physical sensation to running a finger over it.

"I Would Gladly Take Some Variety, If That Is An Offer."

"I'd bust out your teeth before you killed me. No thanks."

~

The fountain of water on the grounds was probably not meant for drinking from. But conquered alien planets hardly ever had bacteria that effected trolls, right?

And Vriska was parched.


	5. Accoutrement

There was no big meeting with the Lalondes - just encounters.

The younger Rose was only a little older than she remembered - and seemed to be addicted to the drinks that Vriska's own contemporary had been convinced to swear off. With shouting, violence, and some broken glass - but it was effective.

Here, though, the bottle was passed around.

"Mrs. L", the custodian, did not dictate too many things. She knit a lot. Organic forms - honestly, the least human-geometic things that Vriska saw. Vriska had been told she had once been married - some sort of human Red relationship - but hadn't changed her name. It was an odd thought that a relationship would require a name change - maybe it was some sort of slavery she had escaped? Good for her.

"Roxy" was a face Vriska was entirely unfamiliar with. Barely taller than Rose, obsessed with tinkering. The same lususial look to her hair - though, by skin color, they didn't look all too similar. She got some line about all humans blood being red, they had to get their castes from somewhere, or some line like that. Sap the color from their faces, and they would definitely look bred from the same stock, ectobiological or not. She tinkered with electronics - though didn't seem to appreciate Vriska's doomsday machine tendencies when there was attempts at discussion. She just wanted to fix up original hardware for videogames, obsessed with "Not emulating", whatever that was.

"Mom" Was some older version of Roxy - taller, significantly more slight. If anything, it was her drinking that moderated Rose's. She seemed quite determined not to work on any hobbies at all. Like she was afraid to see time progress.

They all had the mark on their necks. Vriska - she found mirrors and didn't see anything to match in on her reflection. But their marks weren't visible in mirrors either.

Could she really trust anyone - even Kanaya? No, if that was some mark due to psionics, she probably couldn't even see it. Even that short-haired lusus - which she wasn't supposed to remember - said she wouldn't be effected by psionics.

And the Condesce, well, there was one tell that she might be around somewhere, even if Vriska hadn't seen her. Vriska couldn't get scared. Angry. It was all just sort of Meh.

Which is how time passed with so little happening. Everyone was just sort of... content. Starry nights that were a bit too cold for a troll, Sunny days that were a bit too warm for humans, passing one after another.

The psionics weren't stopping Vriska's boredom. Maybe that's what the drugs - which she assumed she was still successfully avoiding - were supposed to be for.


	6. A Visible Line

The nights here were darker than Alternia, but Vriska wandered off regardless - to the one large building in view past the long fences of the estate.

The size was fit for a blueblood. The condition was somewhat abandoned - some windows broken in, a broken door unboarded, a large hole in the roof. Easy enough to enter.

Toys. Empty food containers. Pictures in frames. Stuffed creatures. Nothing lit up from switches she assumed should do such.

One of those pictures held a person that looked a lot like Roxy.

Vriska took the picture with her. She wished she could capchalogue it - but that didn't work. It wasn't even a malfunctioning search modus, the thing didn't respond at all, and hadn't in the weeks since when been pulled from whatever her fate was supposed to be.  
  


And she was back in bed early enough to still get some sleep that night, as was the wont of humans.

~

But Vriska had been missed.


	7. Reversion

The next morning - had he even fallen asleep?

Wait. No. Somthing was wrong with that.

Had he even fall...

Had he.

He.

He?

Intellectually, He thought that he should be feeling scared, angry, outraged - he should feel anything right now.

"Fuck" he said, aloud, without conviction. He wasn't even sure if he had just said it.

He was laying on top of the covers - he looked down. And what his eyes saw was the wrong sort of familiar. The body he'd seen - grown disgusted with - every evening he'd climbed out of the sopor since his first molting.

Whatever sensations the Meh Field could block, dysphoria was not one of them.

Vriska's clothes were gone. She had been offered a new set of clothes - an entire new wardrobe - but the offer had thus far been refused. And the clothes she did own? They weren't in the corner. He tried to grab up the bedsheet - and and was only filled with anger when his hands just couldn't catch it. It didn't matter. He need to find ... someone. Somthing to blame. Somthing had to be fake about this. It had to be psionics.

He ran into the hallway, not caring if he was naked or not. He was going to find some ass to whoop until this stopped.


	8. Oh No, it's Hot

There were to people in the "Dining Room."

Mrs. L.

and Vriska.

The only thing that looked out of place about it was that both had symbols on the back of their necks, shining brightly.

And at the sight of this, all (Vriska) could do is whimper.

Ms. L. didn't move a muscle in response. Vriska turned her head. And smiled directly at (Vriska).

"I volunteered for somthing."

"Oh?" Ms. L looked back a Vriska with a slight look of concern.

"You know what. I was out snooping - an made the mistake of coming back afterwards."

"Oh," her expression brightened noticeably, " I suppose you should be scolded then. But it was an inevitability. I don't think you've been getting proper hydration since you came here, honestly."

"No? Well, we should fix that then, shouldn't we?"

"Is there even a point now?"

"Of course there is. Who knows what else I'll volunteer for."

"Hmm. Fair enough," Ms. L. brought around a glass, a jug of water, and presented them with a few pills, "I think you can decide how thirsty you are."

Before returning to her previous preoccupation, Ms. L. gently turned Vriska's face towards the light, "Really, you do make anything you wear look wonderful."

And (Vriska) watched his body receive possibly the hottest, most teasing kiss he'd ever seen. iT... 


	9. Somthing still works, at least

Vriska was gone. Where... how much time had even passed?

He didn't dare look down. He knew nothing had changed. But Mrs. L. was back at whatever book work. (Vriska) tried to throw her notes from the table - and they didn't move either.

He really wished he could get mad right now. He wished he could scream in her face - but he could hardly talk.

Ok, psionics. If he couldn't move things, that meant ... he probably wasn't physical. That the was a projection of whatever he was left in control of. Which wasn't much. But if the still saw the thing on the back of their necks - which obviously had been put on is body, whe still had some psionic power.

Three things now happened at very nearly the same time;

First, Mrs. L. fell forward, slamming her read on the dining room table, asleep.

Second, (Vriska) found himself flung to the floor, not because to the exertion but because,

Third, The Younger Rose had coincidentally entered the room at exactly the same moment as the attempt, and had barreled through the dining room with no regard for what she could not perceive, to check in her felled alternate.

Vriska's concentration broken, Mrs. L. woke up surprisingly fast to the relief of Rose - The symptom of suddenly falling asleep triggering nothing in the Lalonde's memory.

Breakfast already being set out, Rose, heartily encouraged Mrs. to join her - the latter insisting that coffee was all she needed.

(Vriska) felt no compulsion to rise after being knocked down. It was sweeps of "character building" that compelled him to do so.

That character building also compelled him to, with passion completely suppressed, try and punch Rose in the head.

~

The one thing he was absolutely sure of was, even if this was the "body" he had hated for sweeps, his muscle memory had developed for something that was now larger in any dimension you could care to measure. So the fist that should have hit the side of her head was not high enough, and grazed Rose's neck.

And the bright pattern shimmering at it's base.


	10. A Different Wrongness, Though

Rose was confused. Everything was wrong again. Mrs. L., at her left, had just picked up her fresh cup of coffee - to gently set it back down when she felt a dull dinner knife clumsily held at her throat, it's grip quickly refined.

"What happened to me?"

"This was... a concern. Can I state these concerns?"

"If the truth comes right after it, sure, why not?"

"I can only assume my blank-out a moment ago was as a result of your .... powers. I'm really surprised you could make it out of bed, given the circumstances."

"What happened to my body?"

"Betty - the Empress - was trying to work out ways for the troll in this house to go into the outside world, without requiring the benefits of her psychic influence. While I can say I've benefited from a much simpler life living close to her - I had a preoccupation with my own erroneous prophetic visions before I met her - most humans become... a bit more idiotic than they normally are. Being able to move about in a human shell, if not permanently reside in one, would add much more spice to your life," Rose hadn't gone any more aggressive in her movements, which wasn't a bad sign, "For example, are you familiar with how a poached egg tastes to humans?"

"So why can't _Betty_ tell me this herself?"

"I believe she might have been afraid you were going to run off and get yourself killed before she could do all the necessary tests."

"And what happens to her as long as I keep this body?" Rose nodded back behind her. to what was not quite a corpse on the floor behind the pair. She still didn't take her eyes off Mrs. L.  
  


"...Her?" Mrs. L. turned back and look directly at (Rose)'s form - nude, slighly younger than it appeared now, murmuing to herself inaudibly, sitting on the floor, "Her who?"

Rose pulled at the cloth around Mrs. L.'s neck. She should have noticed sooner - it wasn't glowing anymore. The darkened symbol at the back of her neck still floated on the skin.

"Do you have a tattoo on you neck?"

"Oh - oh you can see it? Betty showed drew me a picture once," her look was one of genuine surprise, "She said there was a psychic sigil that controlled the transfer..." She didn't seem concerned about her neck, though, Turning her chair, "You're saying, then, that somthing is... there?" Mrs. L. waved her had a few times in the air behind Rose - on the second pass her fingers snagged (Rose)'s hair, toppling her as if she were a feather. But she reached a third time, apparently having felt nothing.

"You know what? Don't worry about it." Rose put the knife down entirely, "It's happened to you before? Waking up in another body?"

"I don't remember anything in between. But yes, I'd say by now every Lalonde has been each Lalonde - I think you get it? - at least a few times. Things get a little crazy after a few swaps. And Ka-nae-ya - once. It was a little too much for me. But it's just - poof, you're in a different body. But you..."

Rose tried the egg, barely warm anymore. It... honestly did taste different than the times she had had one before - though she didn't have the words to articulate the difference.

"You somehow got from your bedroom to here without a body. Fascinating. Either your a more powerful psychic than I was led to believe, Or trolls are quite the fearsome species."

"Eh, I'm pretty great. Though, honestly, even if I knew how to get back out of this body, I'm not planning on ghosting around this place until my usual ride gets back," A light came on in her eyes, "Unless you could like, direct me to Betty's body."

"Oh no, you're fine staying where you are. I was quite surprised to learn that wasn't you in there this morning. Self-experimentation is risk enough for her. I'm sure her normal corpus is hidden somewhere she considers safe."

"So, I just spend the day in a body that isn't mine."

"I can't really offer any better solution. Though maybe now I can convince Betty to eat supper with us again - that is, I hope the tests she need to do don't take more than the day. She's been busy trying to perfect things for weeks. Until then - well, it's always fun to see how long it takes people to notice a swap."

Rose ate a little more - while not that hungry, at least for a troll's definition of hunger, a bit of practice with different sized hands would not hurt. She pushed away an empty plate.

One of the doors to the dining room creaked open - Roxy still seemed to be half asleep.

"Have fun," Mrs. L. said under her breath.

"How would Rose do this," she asked herself. She'd probably just crawl away and act like everything was rainclouds and floods. She loudly pushed the chair back and stood to leave.

"You really should try and get to bed sooner, Roxy..." Mrs. L. had made that comment before.

"Iz fine, itz, fine." She rubbed her eyes, "Mornin Rosie"

"Good. Morning."

Somthing went very wrong with Rose's first step away from the table. She stuck her foot out - and her leg didn't stop swinging. Not registering it not stopping, she had already leaned forward - so a fraction of a second after she found herself kicking herself in the face with her own leg, her legs' length was loudly crashing into the floor in a split.

It stung. But Rose was shocked it didn't... really... hurt?

The mute image of (Rose) got a look on it's face. A very specific look. Looking at it, as she was apparently the only one who could, Rose wondered - Was... was that move sexy?

"Oh shur, I really need to hit the boose two hours earlier, yeah."

Rose opted on crawling out of the room - if kicking herself in the face - which she'd never seen herself do - had somehow not fazed Roxy, this wouldn't either. She did give a loud groan for effect.

Silently, (Rose) crawled behind her.


	11. The Wierd Stuff, Part 1

Rose slowly crawled back through the halls - and, no shame - to her room, before she stood to her feet again. Again? Stood to her feet for the first time. Then, to see what would happen, she didn't even try and kick. Hand supported by the wall- she just raised her leg - and wow. It was like, weightless. And much less stunning as her calf bopped he nose this time. She had to wonder if this was actually a human thing - being so light. Rose had, on entirely appropriate occasions - thrown her Rose around on the meteor. And even if that sentence didn't make any sense, she had thought at the time that Rose had already been flying to avoid being hit too hard.

She was .... just this light?

She was ..... just this loose?

She let her feet slide apart - no, even the measly friction of the carpet in her room stopped the legs from spreading, and she didn't feel any tension in her legs. Rose had to wiggle her feet back and forth to slide more - then paff, she was on the floor. She tried turning back and forth - her hips rotating at any angle she could get them to, to get her legs to split in any two directions she wished - and her crotch never threatened to leave the ground. Rose looked up - (Rose) was there watching attentively. Hungrily.

Would... she respond if Rose actually tried and break her body?

...

...wait, what was she thinking about?

Pain?

What if she was actually in pain and the whole "Meh Field" thing was just keeping her from feeling it? There wasn't any real way to test that, right?

Or

Was it if this psychic shadow was capable of anything?

Rose tried to put it to sleep... nothing. It just sat there intently starring. But that might have somthing to do with Rose being Rose right now - there was nobody else to test on but herself, and like she was going to so that.

Could... (Rose) be touched?

It seemed like a bother to get up - still straddling the ground, Rose tried to push one thigh forward, like walking forward on bent knees but with significantly more room for rug burn. Honestly, with this expanse of legs, Rose expected more rug burn - but no. A quick check beneath her skirt a little piece of fabric at the crotch - labeled "Belphegor" on a tag. Odd. Nothing about Rose reminded Rose of anything that would suggest anything as to the nature of that label, "Belphegor"... perhaps Rose would ask (Rose) when (Rose) was actually in a mood to speak up.

Or maybe not.

But as that slow flopping of lags seemed to work, Rose resumed it, pushing herself forward. until that shade was easy enough to manhandle. And yes, she could push (Rose) around just as easily as she had been pushing Rose around. Less easily in that Rose was not in direct control, more easily as the soul seemed as light as a feather. Or, well, perhaps not quite that light.

The psionic shadow did nothing to resist as Rose pulled it into a similar position as herself - still not bothering to stand up - the psionic impression of legs spread wide, using her own as a straight edge to guide them into place, til a human and her memory were toe to toe, crotch to crotch, bosom to bosom.  
  
And still, (Rose)'s expression was one of observation.

"Ugh," Rose groaned aloud. Maybe she should tie this thing in a knot just to see what would happen. Maybe she should tie herself....

There was a knock on the door, which immediately opened.

Mom.

What... was a Rose to do in front of her? Probably not hug an invisible shadow to herself. She straitened up, leaned back on her extended arms. She would have closed her legs but, light as it was, the shadow was still sitting there in it's own straddle split.

"Heya sweet thang, Rox said you had taken a spil durin breakfase and just wanted to make sure yu wer okie dorie?"

"Of course. I'm just fine. Illusion time just got 8e- between me and a stretch. Uh. Time. Being an illusion."

"Yu remeber yr supposed to take days off in betwwen rox's lessons, right?"

Wait, so Roxy was supposed to be teaching Rose somthing about this? Roxy was competent in anything other than Electronics? She sure had never shown Rose that previously.

"Rlly, you should be doin the strengtn stuff today unless yu wanna jurn back inta jello," Rose got a glimpse of a decision from Mom's face as she walked behind the girl, "Even if you aren't rlly the girl i rasid, I still wanna girl dat cn handle herself." Rose, felt hands on both her calves, and her legs were being pulled backwards - she knew "wider" was the right word, but once both left her peripheral vision she lost any real sense of having legs at all, which was... disconcerting.

"I gotta wonder, tho, how does it feel for yu?"

Rose looked back over her shoulder, towards her not-quite-Mom, to see what had become of her legs. apparently they were merely crossed at the knees - "Merely", as in they were pointing the opposite way they should be when sitting, in a full circle and then some, and she still felt the touch of her skin more strongly than the stretch.

Rose was fairly sure this wasn't something she wanted to see a human do.

(Rose) disagreed, still leaning against her chest - Rose felt the sensation of drool seeping through the clothes on her own. How a psionic impression could drool, she also didn't want to know..

"Runny," Rose answered truthfully, having no other options come to mind.

"Oooh. like the sopper stuf is still in there?"

Sopper? _Sopor slime?_ Sopor Slime had done this to a human? "I can't say for sure," Rose hedged "If..." she stopped herself. No, she'd keep up this human role-play for as long as possible. "Why, how does it feel for you?"

Wait. Was that a stupid question? Ridiculous splits couldn't be a normal human thing?

"Ehhh i dunno. catch me on one of dose leg voidy days an illl try it then."

Voidy... then she was god-tiered? Like Equius? Oh hell Rose had to remember Equius. Yuck.

"But if yr ok than i'll leave you be... rlly tho, you gotta work on the strhenght exercizin at some point."

"Fine, fine." A little dismissive wave was a very Rose thing, right?

Mom left.

(Rose) was shoved off her chest, with enough force she smacked against the bedroom door, slumped over, legs still wide. She seemed to be sobbing a little, not that anybody left in the room cared.

Rose was able to twist around sideways - with unnerving ease - to unhook her legs from each other, and quickly enough was standing again.

Screw this slow experimentation, she only really needed to know one thing. She slipped out of the clothes to test one thing. And, Oh - Oh yeah, Rose was God Tier. - Oranges and yellows appeared around her naked form, then were just as quickly dismissed. She didn't want to entertain any useless visions coming to her - hell, her Rose on the Kilter had complained so much about those visions.

So.

Rose was God Tier from timeline S with some major historical Sopor Slime issues. Probably.

Mom was a possibly God Tier for timeline U That had some void power control issues, maybe.

Ms. L. was the local Lalonde.

Roxy was from timeline K and possibly a somehow-trained bendy bitch.

Kanaya was here, and... they really could hang out more. Rose probably shouldn't. Vriska should. But was she part of this trend somehow? Probably.

Vriska is here. Hell she better be here if she couldn't get her own body back soon this would be turned into a very bad time.  
  
The Condesce probably was here somewhere, with Vriska's body. She wanted her own rumbleshperes back. Even if these human boobs were nothing to sniff at.  
  
(Rose)... Wait.

Rose quickly pulled back her bed-sheets and threw the ghost image in, tucking in the corners before she could move. Right. It was just to be safe that she tucked all the limbs in under the sheets, and the head, leaving the ass hanging out on the pillow. The psionic shadow seemed to struggle for a bit, then gave up.

Perfect.

Now Rose could go for a round of "Search the grounds for a secret lab" - after slipping back on the awkward button top, "Belphegor", and that skirt - without being accused of psionicly murdering or losing anyone whilst doing so.


	12. Official First Meetings

There had been nothing to be found.

This was worthless.

Vriska was back in her... bed. Shit.

Who knew if that meant there actually had been anything to find, and it had been wiped from her memory, but that was a secondary concern. Those were her rumblespheres she was looking down on - that was enough of a relief at the moment.

There was the sound of a newspaper page being flipped, which brought her attention to the figure past the edge of the bed. At the paper's edges were ponderously large hands - it looked pitifully small compared to whenever Vriska had seen Ms. L. reading one.

And the horns arching above it were clear enough in the dim bedroom light.

The bed squeaked as she sat up - clothed. Her usual fare, rumpled by a night's tossing and turning, she hoped.

How does one talk to the Empress? She was wearing a suit. Red. Bright red. It was hard to tell if she was still just passing time, or waiting for Vriska to make the first move.

Vriska tried to give a polite cough - but gagged a little. Her throat felt wrong. Everything felt wrong - sore.

The Condesce lowered the paper. Her skin wasn't nearly as dark as the rumors of adults said it would be. And for thousands- perhaps tens of thousands - of sweeps old, she didn't look it. Not that Vriska would have any inside knowledge of what an old troll would look like. Besides huge. And obviously, she was a sea dweller. The glasses might have obscured the yellow eyes the slightest bit, but nothing could be done about the fins.

"It's knot done."

It was ok to speak when spoken to, right? "What's-"

"The whole body swap process. And shell, if you couldn't just take the meds - I almost broke that body a few times yesterday. Just take them, 'kay?"

"Broke...?" Just what experiments was she doing?

"Oh, right, you lucked out with the sludge-head. A body that's not trained to move like you do is an issue, ok? Unnecessary injury. The meds are supposed to loosen you up. 'Bend, not break,' whatever they say. Get up." The last words sounded like an order. The Condesce remained seated.

Vriska slid out of the bed - and winced. The aching was worse. Aches where she was pretty sure she had never had aches before. And she had lost an arm once.

"Oh please, at least try and look like you ain't in agony. Ask for the meds. Take it easy today. And tomorrow - That Roxy knows her stuff. Get 'er to properly stretch ya. That's an order." She stood up - having to lean her head back to keep her horns from scraping the ceiling, and opened the door - which was entirely to small for her.

"No big 'stay here or else' monologue?" Vriska was, in fact, a little surprised she managed to say that to The Condesce - her back was turned, though.

The Condesce bent in half, backwards, horns that barely avoided the ceiling now skillfully avoided the floor, gazing right back at Vriska - newspaper still tucked under her arm. "Needed at Work. You can die if you must. The humans here will be glad to talk your ears off if you decide you don't want to."

And she walked off, blindly, Vriska would have thought, except it WAS her hive she could apparently navigate coming or going, as Vriska watched. The wood-floored hallway protested with every step. The Condesce finally stood upright as the stairway ceiling raised away from the floor, and quickly left the house without a further word.

Vriska waddled to a window, which was a much as her aching legs would allow at the moment - there was a - what was that human name for them? Car. And somehow, as some idled human held open the door, The Condesce folded herself in half again to somehow fit in the back of it. The human, closed the door behind her, then easily sat in the front seat and drove her away.

So, pretending you didn't have bones was obviously a theme in this household. One Vriska was afraid she might be forced to learn, after the aching stopped.  
  
She made her way to the dining room - Ms. L. was there again, but unlike the last morning, acknowledged her presence, and her pained look.  
  
"I'm told Ibuprofen works for trolls, if you care to try it."  
  
"Whatever that is -" Vriska took one of the wooden seats, and realized it might be quite hard to stand up from it for a while, "add it to the menu."


	13. Means to Succeed

Vriska did not have a quick recovery, despite going on the "Ibuprofen" and "Muscle Relaxant" therapy. Thankfully, the gagging on her food was a rather short-term issue. Just what would make a throat do that - well, the time it would take to do half of everything she imagined wouldn't leave enough time to create all the other aches.

Thankfully, this universe had both VCRs, Nicolas Cage videotapes to be ordered, and enough Televisions around the Manor that a 24 hour marathon was no big deal. 

This didn't really help significantly with the aching. Or, at least, she ached in different places.

~

It was a few more days until The Condesce made another appearance - and, as Ms. L. had hoped, it was at the dinner table. Vriska, almost not feeling her cheekblades merely existing anymore, was a little taken aback at how fancy the affair was. Nutrition plateaus on a vast sheet for each of them various folded and curved and pointed implements for each of them - most of which the Lalondes also seemed to have idea what to make of - though Kanaya somehow managed to dirty every little bit of them with food crumbs as plateau after plateau passed by.

Humans were on hand in unknown numbers, dressed in black, silently orchestrating whatever this meal was. Vriska was sure she hadn't seen a single one of them before, but they moved so quickly it was hard to tell.

The talk was - rehearsed. Every one of the Lalondes seemed desperate to not look like they were dying of boredom - enjoying their stay - talking about their little projects. Ms. L., at a number of opportunities, openly doted on the Condesce - through the Empress never quite returned the public displays of affection.

When the talk came to Roxy - Vriska was, while eating the morsels provided, almost falling asleep - some technical detail excited the girl and her hair suddenly jumped unusually. And it was a few jumbled swear words as she tried to reach up to fix her hair that woke Vriska back up.

"You really have no reason to hide you ears here," Rose offered, twirling a fork in the air.

"oh commun, like yu'd do all that flopping around out there."

"Not all the time - but who knows what I'd be doing, depending on the reputation I'd be trying to uphold. I might make quite the Spy, squeezing through cracks."

"i think y'd talk a bit too much fer that."

"Well, spying isn't all discrete infiltration. But," another course appeared in front of them - a little bit of roast headless thing, baked to a brownness, "I would think 'public catgirl' is a clearer market."

"o rly," Roxy tousled her white hair for a few moment and two meow-beast ears very visibly stood out from it, "wher am i marketing this? where? lil kids who wanna tug on my hair? Hormy boys wo wann stic there d-"

The Condesce coughed, loudly. The room stood still for a moment - Vriska didn't want to move, not that she was sure she could.

"I was thinking more hanging cat poster series. You could go so anime with a bit of makeup," Rose ventured, after a minute.

The silence fell back in - a little less tense.

As another set of plates started to disappear, Vriska grabbed the arm reaching from behind her, and pulled it forward. It was just one of those pale human faces with flowery hair, that dazed expression she had seen so many times as of late, "Who _are_ these humans?"

"Crocker Corporation employees." The Condesce answered, pausing in her caredul dissection of the animal placed in front of her, "Who failed in the roles they were originally hired for."

"So, slaves?"

"No. They are as free to leave the property as anyone else. And they will receive severance when they do," She picked up a goblet, something white, to hide her smile, "When they choose to leave," she put the glass down, "Until then, their paychecks are mailed to the address they specified. I believe you have... Mr. Harvey? A former plant manager, much better at bargaining his pay than he was at managing the floor. If you would like to _dismiss_ him, fine, but until then I'd like to get my money's worth."

Vriska let the arm go, and the man wandered off to a door hidden in the room's woodwork. 

"Crocker Corp prides itself on giving employees as many chances as they need to succeed."


	14. Well, A Different Cage

There was only the one dinner. Vriska's Age of Cage marathon in a previously empty, windowless room continued out of principle. 

Roxy had come by, with suggestions for stretches to start "oppn thins up," but was convinced to give her attention into how to make two VCRs play one after another in a continuous stream. Vriska's previous tinkering with doomsday machines had at least informed her online electronic orders - soldier, wire, two identical VCRs, and a dozen of a "logic microchip" that sounded like it would fit the bill, but her attempts at this archaic technology had only spelled out the doom of half the chips. Roxy managed to get the plan to work with some additional components from her collection, saying somthing about voltages.

The humidity hung thick in the air.

Rose came by a different day, when Vriska's unusual aches were almost replaced with her normal ones.

"How's Bell-fae-gor?" Vriska managed to remember to ask.

Rose puzzled for a bit over the nature of this question, before coming to a conclusion, "No, no, no, it's a Leviathan type of day."

The humidity became so thick that the air could no longer hold it. The torrents finally kept Kanaya inside for the day.

 _Never on Tuesday_ wasn't anything that really deserved to be re-watched - Cage was only in it for less than a minute - So they talked over it. A little.

Kanaya tried to tell her the names of different Earth Flowers she had learned. About the soil, and how mountains of ice had tilled it some number of sweeps ago.

"Don't you ever... slouch?" Vriska finally asked, "I hate to do a 'My Kanaya', but 'My Kanaya' was always looking like she was to out-neck a long-necked runbeast. Don't you ever just... Relax?"

"Is This Before Or After Alternia?"

"I mean, we only really met in person during the game, but on Kilter you always walked like you had a prod up your Excrement Chute."

"And You Were On 'Kilter', As You Called It, For How Long?"

"Two sweeps? give or take."

"Then I Will Take It As Your Kanaya Was Never In The Mood To Show This Off," Kanaya lifted her shirt, and under the dancing lights of the Television Vriska saw that her form was actually restricted by fabric."

"Is that a... thorax reformer of some sort?"

"No. It Is Longer Than One Of Those Devices, Even If Similar. It Is Referred To As An Overbust Corset."

"Oh. Well, weird fashion was always you thing..." Vriska started to turn back to the movie.

"No, No, Pay Attention. Even If You Do Not Find This Interesting, Pay Attention For Just one Minute," Kanaya was furiously pulling at somthing between her back and the couch, before undoing the latches and letting the corset fall open. She slumped almost immediately, before hoisting herself up on the back of the couch, "Look At This."

Strips of flesh were drawn apart to reveal a wide hole below her thorax - somewhat grown over with skin, but still sections of anatomy that defiantly were meant never to see the air showed details from it's edges.

"Ew," Vriska did have her interest piqued enough to slide over to take a closer look - it was an old wound, if it had that much time to heal.

"When did that happen?"

"For Me? When Eridan Went On His Last Rampage, And Left Me For Dead. Or, 'The Rainbow Drinker Indecent'," Kanaya's skin lit up for the first time since Vriska had met her - which honestly wasn't a huge surprise, as her Kanaya eventually learned her light switch somehow. But the definition of the hole became apparent, blood pumping through the remaining veins and arteries surrounding the perforation, where - maybe it was the acid tubes? - should have been. A metal cap - no, two. the soft flesh had some protection from what some theoretical lengths of bony spine that could lacerate it.

"And you cut him in half... like this?" Vriska had, admittedly, seen a lot of injuries in her flarping days - nothing like this, which said nothing for the constitution of the average troll. And, most of them had been appropriately deadly, "Oh fuck I still remember that punch. That was hot." 

"You Probably Didn't Even Notice The Wound At That Point - I Would Have Had It In A Temporary Compress At That Moment."

"So you crush yourself in that 'corset' thing to stand up. And that's why you're so skinny and straight all the time," Vriska pondered for a long moment, "A good thing to know, in this house, I guess."

"And That Is Why I Show You Now. Though," She did seem a lot more comfortable with it off, "I Really Should Have Worn The Mesh Corset With The Weather Like It Is."

"Ha- desert, right. Growing up on the coast, this is just another day. Wait. Why wasn't my Kanaya as skinny as you then?"

"Well, She May Have Stuffed, Or She May Have Decided To Tunnel The Piercing. I Considered Those Options Too."

"Ah...?"

"Like Ears. When They Put Tubes In Them."

"Ah."

Kanaya paused, waiting for somthing to happen, "Do You... Not Want To Touch It?"

"Hey, if I ever find myself in your head, all feel you up then - right now it's.... ehh. No offense. Just a little too weird for me to jump into."

"Fine. Might As Well Find Out How This 'Lesbian' Kills These Two Guys," Kanya's skin dimmed, "I'm Leaving The Corset Off For A While, If You Change Your Mind." 

Vriska turned away. Well, this movie would be a disappointment for Kanaya as well.


	15. A Hopeless Tangle

One inconvenience of the dual VCR setup was that it only triggered once the credits had rolled. The music and dull thunder from outside did not complement each other well.

"The Law Officer Should Have Shot Them. It Was An Obvious Case Of Psionic Manipulation. And Not Even Competent Psionics."

"Uh huh."

"What Is Next On The Lineup?" Kanaya was fidgeting with her open corset, honestly wondering if it was worth slapping it back on for a quick walk back to her room for a cooler mesh one.

"Yeah, the next one is _Superman Lives_."

"That... Why Can Humans Not Have Named Their Movies More Descriptively? Is It Another Male/Female Fetish Thing? The Last One Wouldn't Have Been Quite So Bad If Not For The Constant Numbers Imbalance."

"I'm pretty sure it's another power fantasy? I mean, for the Males. And there's a lot of alien hate, I guess."

"You Would Think They Had Already Been Conquered."

"But Cage plays an alien too, I guess? It's weird- Um... Hello?"

The figure in the darkened doorway, outlined momentarily by lighting via hallway window was - large. Not Condesce-sized - and certainly not with her horns - but larger than anyone else Vriska had seen around the mansion.

Kanaya followed Vriska's gaze, "Oh, Lalonde. It Is One Of Those Days, Then?"

"There are more of them?" Vriska was still trying to make out the figure - but definitely heard the pop of a wine bottle's cork.

"WHat Ellllse it there ta Do today?" It wasn't one voice that answered Kanaya, but a chorus, badly tuned, and detuned further by inebriation.

"Turn On The Light, At Least. Let Vriska See."

Vriska blinked when the electric chandelier's lights came on with their own crack - and blinked again as her eyes adjust from a mere television's light.

It was not one figure clothed in white at the door, as seemed to be the Lalonde's wont. Rather, several. Mom's face was at the apex of the interlocked construction, a bit too small in proportion - her shoulders, far too wide. The blouse draping from them was obviously tailored to this action, but not well. Where Vriska might have expected to see the edges of rumblespheres peeking out, she saw another pair of faces; Roxy and Rose's, the blouses' neckline caught on their noses, affording them one unfocused eye to look out upon the world. The blouse's sleeves were filled with legs - one foot holding the wine bottle's neck, Rose's she thought, the other holding the released cork.

There was still more of this picture to process, but Vriska's mind was hung up on these details.

The amalgamation made it's way to Kanaya's couch, its weight causing the structure to creek as it sat beside the troll.

"Whets On thee telle girls?"

"They Get Like This After A Few Too Many Swaps," Kanya pointed at her head, and crossed her fingers, as if the motion should mean somthing to Vriska.

"Heu, I jusd forGet," The chorus got momentarily clearer as the being brought the wine bottle to Mom's lips, "who Came frum Wher," The bottle was lowered to a 'breast', Roxy's face receiving it's attentions, and responding with a loud gulp. 

"The Condesce Has To Sort Them Out Whenever She Gets Back."

The Bottle passed to Rose's face, dipping under the fabric, who tried to sip daintily, but had whatever yellowish liquid spill over her face and on the blouse. When she coughs for air, the entire mass convulses in coughing from various pairs of lungs.

Wait. That was her foot that splashed her?

"So the three are all just-"

Vriska stops as one leg pulls up the long skirt, and the other adjusts the bottle underneath; instead of a crotch, Ms. L's face is there to take a swig of the bottle amid some mess of hugging legs and arms.

Vriska takes another long moment to absorb this, and fight the queasiness in her stomach. She really didn't want thing thing wandering the mansion unobserved, so she fought the impulse to run to the bathroom.

"...the four are all running on a single brain cell right now."

"Amazing, Is It Not?" Kanaya wraps an arm around what is Probably Roxy's hanging leg, Cradling lingers between interlaced toes.

"No????" Vriska stammered for a bit. 

The amalgam's - Mom's - head tilted in confusion. Kanaya patted the foot she held in assurance, and raise it to her lips to give it a quick smooch. Rose's leg reached over, but Kanaya didn't take it.

"Ok, like, I know I was all giddy about the stories of Mindfang controlling armies back in the nights, but this? I don't even know what this is. It's creepy. There's a head under there," Vriska motioned to the skirt, "This thing is - Kanaya how do you find this hot?"

"Do You Not Find The Concept Of Such Contortions Exhilarating? Such Cooperation And Control, Such-"

"Fuck no. Why would you?"

"I Know It Is A Recent Revelation, But You Are Talking To Someone Who Literally Does Not Have A Full Spine."

"Why does that matter?"

"Because It Is Absolutely Fabulous That Not Being Able To Stand Up Straight Under Your Own Power Is Somthing Other Than A One Hundred Percent Liability. You Know, Like When You Threw Tavros Off A Cliff," Kanaya was tugging her opened corset out from behind her, "I, At Least, Have Traded A Normal Condition For One Of Different Capability."

The troll twisted clockwise - or her top half did. Somehow, she managed to pull her thorax underneath her legs without repositioning them - sitting on her back, her head poking out between her knees.

The Lalonde amalgam, who had managed to catch the corset and held it on her lap now, clapped excitedly as Vriska's fate merely twitched, staring into Kanaya's eyes a long moment. When Vriska tried to start speaking, she was hushed by the other troll, who immediately afterward started tucking her arms in between her thighs and back - but no, she was also threading them through the hole, until both arms' elbows popped through.

Vriska wondered if she should join in the clapping. But Kanaya's gaze at her hadn't stopped - it merely turned upward. Her horns slipped into the space between ass an back, somthing shifted and her hands were gently guiding the sharp spikes through the perforation. The orange hook clearly visible, her hooked forearms braced against the fleshy strands of her abdomen, and the troll's head and shoulders popped through all at once.

The Lalonde amalgam stood up to clap for this - shakily. And Vriska submitted a few claps herself - though she stopped then the Lalonde raised one of it's ground-legs vertically so the crotch face could get a good look at Kanaya's trick. This action ended up being disastrous - whatever arrangement they had for holding to each other under the clothes slipped, and the group crashed to the floor - almost on to Vriska, if she hadn't been paying enough attention to move out of the way in time.

Ms. L, dressed in her underwear, had landed in a spit on top of them, but quickly bent backwards to a shape similar to Kanaya's part one back-sit. It was useless, though, as there was no top half to raise the Lalonde amalgam back to it's feet. The three remaining struggled to make any sense of themselves in the confine of the blouse - and Vriska was sure in the struggle that Roxy was making even weirder moves than Rose was. Not that she could tell just how the human managed somthing that registered as weirder.

Eventually, the Lalonde amalgam just gave up - like the individual members couldn't even understand how to act as anything but separated limbs at that point.

The only saving grace, or perhaps two, was that the remaining drink in the bottle both hadn't been spilled, and was out of the reach of where any individual bit of Lalonde lay.

Meanwhile, Kanaya had pulled enough of her torso though her midsection that, while she still wouldn't look like she could stand up, even with the corset back on, she could prop herself up on her thighs, "Perhaps You Should Just Play Another Movie Until The Condesce Returns-" And down to the disassembled stack of contortionists, "I Can Only Hope You Did Not Choose a Bad Day to Do This To Yourself."

Vriska popped in the _Superman Lives_ tape, not wanting to think, and only really started thinking when she found herself mercifully in a used bathroom a few minutes later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ran out of things to steal from, for the moment.


	16. It Continued to Rain

Vriska sat out on the large veranda until darkness came. It looked tacked on to the rest of the mansion - indeed, the different sheens of water running over paint made it a bit more obvious that the house had multiple additions built upon it. And after fussing over this detail, she kept trying to think of anything but what she had left inside. The thunder came and went, the rain reduced to but a mist. At length, a bock truck came up the drive - the usual driver parked in front - coming out with an umbrella, before rolling up the back door. He offered the too small umbrella to the Condesce, who took it - and held it under over one arm to keep a stack of paperwork dry. She paused for a long moment, sagging a little bit, letting the rain wet her face and hair.

Just breathing deeply.

After that long moment, The Condesce ascended the stair to the veranda - twisting her neck from side to side to solicit the occasional crunck of bone and ligament taking a different orientation - until she noticed she wasn't getting Vriska's attention.

"What is it, gurl?"

"The humans broke their brain or somthing."

"Oh," A note of exasperation filled her voice, "I really need to get them more toys to play with, don't I?" She didn't wait for an answer, speeding up as she went inside.

~

It was pitch black. Vriska remained on the porch. At whatever hour it was, Ms. L. came to retrieve her - not folded in half, or in her underwear.

"You were missed at Dinner."

"Oh yeah? She must pretty good at untangling minds if you still had time for 'dinner'."

"It.... I apologize if we acted in an unfitting manner."

Vriska just felt tired, "I though sopor was bad. But I guess none of you are murderers at heart or anything. Ugh."

Ms. L. took a seat on the large hanging swing that Vriska had avoided - it was sized for The Condesce. She looked like a child on it. "I think I'm the only one here who hasn't encountered - 'Imps', ow whatever you call them - but honestly the whole idea of other worlds still is on the margins of my understanding."

"It's not that hard. Just imagine a place nobody knows you fucked up, because you didn't."

"Hmm."

There was a long pause - the wind still as it had been, the rain as heavy as it had been.

"Are you doing that thing?"

"What thing?"

"Where you just expect me to talk. Like every other Rose I've ever met."

"I would be happy to talk, as long as it's conversation."

"Then converse me this: why would the empress of the Trolls want to collect humans that fold? And a troll that folds? And then add me to the mix?"

"I can only imagine she has more expectations of you than that - or that we were something she could relate to more. Who knows? I'm not entirely sure she does. My best guess that being alone among aliens for hundreds of years messes with your perspective," Ms. L. 

"Hundreds...." The Condesce was old, Vriska knew that. But actually getting the first hint of what a human year felt like - it had always sounded shorter as an abstract concept - yeah, this could get old quick.

"And apparently I can't go one rainy week with going out of my mind these days. Well. Is it better I have somebody else's to go into? Probably not, by most measures."

"And what reason do you have for doing it? The Bendy stuff? Kanaya's got the hole, ok, Rose apparently took a long bad sopor bath - not that I'm sure I believe her - what happened to you?"

"Me? Hmm," the pause was short enough to show she had at least part of her answer prepared, "I'm told trolls don't really have 'orphans' as humans do. But I grew up among mostly children in a large house - smaller than this one, still large. Never a peaceful place. I would just hide away to get some peace from all the other kids. Little nooks nobody thought to look for me in. Never really considered it anything other than a quirk until researching things -other things - in College. She wrote a book about it, you know. Silly that it was under the name "Betty Crocker" that she still goes by publicly. But I'll admit I became a bit obsessed about matching her poses, even if I'd never show it in public."

"A book." Vriska wasn't quite sure if the word choice was being lewd or just incidental.

"Yes, yes. A Contortion book. She spent a good time touring with her husband, and at one point they had a photo book printed to sell after the show. The photos were altered to remove the horns, mind you, and nobody could tell she had grey skin in a black and white photo. Back before I was born, mind you - or landed. Whatever-biology."

Vriska waited - the dim light form the house windows still revealed Ms. L. with an indecisive look on her face.

"I used to have dreams. Visions. Most of which made no sense. It was quite relieving to have somthing to focus on when it got bad. Even if it was seeing If I could stick my head up my own ass."

Ah. Now she was waiting for the question. Might as well, "Can you?" Vriska asked.

"Oh no... perhaps My alternate can, with her rubbery physiology, but that's one cranny I never could wedge myself into," she chucked a bit to herself, "though I have got myself into a rather odorous situation at times."

Vriska didn't want to dwell on what that meant - and was glad Ms. L. wasn't deciding to immediately show her, "Is there any food left?"

"There is."


	17. The Wierd Stuff, Part 2

By sun up, the rain had stopped - and the sun started to peek through.

Kanaya? She was gone, wherever outside she could be, probably up to her arms in dirt.

Ms. L. was back to overseeing the grounds people - apparently in hidden depths of the mansion that Vriska had already been though.

The Condesce, even if she could be found - it wouldn't feel right to seek her out. And there was next to no chance that she's actually clarify anything even if Vriska found her.

Rose... had taken the tv, obviously suffering form whatever booze had been imbibed yesterday. She looked a little deflated, in the literal sense.

Vriska tried to get Mom to talk. It wasn't the day for it. She was moving weirdly - in the hallway - hunched over, but in no way that was impressive. Vriska caught her going form the bathroom straight back to her room, where the door locked behind her.

She got a lock. It didn't feel fair.

Roxy, then.

She, too, was staying in her room for the day - a room stacked so full of electronics that her bed was a hammock suspended from the ceiling - not that she was in it.

No, she was dozing on the window sill. Or, more accurately, her calves were braced on either side of the window frame, and her back was folded over the sill - her rumblespheres clearly presented to Vriska, while her nethers were presumably hanging outside, being sunned.

Vriska knocked on the doorframe - the door had already been cracked open, And Roxy popped up with a start. Almost immediately she was clothed in a navy blue which Vriska recognized.

"Void," She didn't even ask. She just stated.

"roguer of voids, at..." Roxy stopped, "whaha need hun?"

"So you order broken things online when you could just make them appear."

"hey, the deets ar hard," while her speech was slurred she seemed completely unaffected by the previous day's inebriation - unlike all the other Lalondes encountered that morning, "but yu did need somthin, rite?"

"Answers."

"hmmm... what price. will yu pay," Roxy head tilted to the side, and she gave a little grin. Her cat ears peeked up a bit from under her hair.

"I..." Vriska knew what she wanted to hear, because Roxy had already made it quite apparent. "I'll let you stretch me."

"DEAL!"

~

Now they were outside - after a quick clothes change. Vriska could have accomplished this just as easily as Roxy could have, had she known the specifics, but Rocky had already provided - what looked to be a ruffled leotard. Close cut, but pretty much impossible to make skin tight, no matter how she moved.

"Where even is this from?"

"ah, that's fum condy. not this one - a diffent one. before i was a rescu."

"Oh, did-"

"we killed er"

Vriska stiffened. For some reason, with all the death she had experienced, with all the power she knew she had as a God Tier - she hadn't even considered the the Condesce was killable.

"or mor like... gubbfied her. but shes probbs deat at this point too. i was... out of commission a wil before i was rescued. hey," She leaned towards Vriska, "yu wanna kno her real name?"

The question snapped Vriska back to reality, "It's Meenah. She has plenty of alternates out there."

"oh." Roxy tried not to act too supprised, "uh... where it 'ther'?"

"The... dreambubbles?"

"or rite... the dream bubblies. rite." Roxy did not seem to confident in that response. It seemed very obvious that, whatever reality she had come from, it was messed up. She scratched at her hear for a moment. Then just sighed an tostled her hair so the ears could stand up properly.

"How did you get ears."

"warm upp.." she took of in a dash. Legitimately running. Vriska took off after her.

~

They had gone around the whole edge of the property - a lawnring befitting an empress, really - before they stopped.

"iz a sprite thing. prototypin shenanagans before i tigere'd" Roxy's breathing was heavier, but her voice was still as clear as ever. "ok, wer gonna do some slow squats, if yr legs arnt burnin by the end your don them wrong."

Vriska tried to follow along, and indeed, her legs wanted to do less and less very quickly. She got a few more details though different "warm ups" - which as quickly as the troll tired, she would have classified as a workout itself - The prototyped cat had been a guardian, Their Condesce had tried to take them in, but when she had wanted to God Tier alongside them, that potential level of power had scared Roxy's crew, and it was both her and the Condesce missing that had apparently caused abducted imperial ship to crash on the way back to Earth.

These were not necessarily the details Vriska wanted to know, but maybe somthing more might click later.

And then Vriska collapsed on the ground. 

"Good... good workout." She started to float off the ground - sure she wasn't going to be able to move by any other means than flying.

"hokay, den its stretch time!"

"Fuck."

~

The only saving grace of the following session was, to demonstrate the stretches, Roxy always went first. And Vriska allowed herself to be used as a dead weight - that is, she didn't fly away when Roxy hefted her into place - a few times while she demonstrated. It was quite clear, though, that Vriska's weight wasn't needed in the least. Roxy was so good at controlling God Tier flight that she could get her appendages to whatever angle she desired so long as she didn't pass out.

Sure, she showed Vrisk how to hold herself for a pike stretch for splits - even gave tips on how to hold herself in position with micromanaged flight. And Then Roxy somhow sandwiched her legs between two invisible walls like a child that really didn't care their doll wasn't made to move like that.

Then it was Vriska's turn. And her existence up to this point in her life had been a mistake. But damn, she found her own actual legs settled on the ground - even if she couldn't actually sit up - and she was pretty sure she'd only seen a troll do that once and live. So that was impressive.

And then Roxy let her out of the splits and Vriska leaned what the feeling of pins and needles actually was.

~

"so its like, noclip. self intersection. but only inside my bod, ad if the void slip hasn't kicked in yet. i meen, both ar wierd, but ovb i wanna stay in reality rather den slip outa it."

Vriska registered that sentence. She was confused. Had they been talking? What was she staring at? That... oh, that was her own butt. Her back was curled forward, her legs we being held somewhere from behind, and that was her butt.

Yeah, just let her mind wander, and let Roxy do what she wanted, and hope she survived.


End file.
